JANUARY 21st 1998 ON EARTH

orange and yellow painted across the sky, hoko watched the giant moon in determination with her hand across her brow. today was a special day, today hoko will reach mother earth. today the people of planet banks will say goodbye to one of it’s hidden heroes.

hoko wanted to be something. she could feel something inside of her whenever she clenched her fists and her teeth, and she wanted everyone else to feel it too. it had been so unbearably long since she felt validation from another person. real validation, not just interest or entertainment by her work.

hoko was an inventor, a very sharp one at that. her father had shown her the ropes before her parents went missing. it felt like she had been creating stuff for her entire life, and now it was a talent fit for survival.

she used to not like thinking about her parents, but now it felt like it was a part of her. it was almost normal for your entire family to go missing on planet banks. ravishing beasts of all kinds prowled every ground on the land and in the water. the labradorites, the “people” of planet banks, were very low on the food chain. left and right she had seen her friends and family swatted away like flies. her parents were missing, and her older brother wanted nothing to do with her. realistically, he could’ve been dead somewhere too. hoko already came to terms with her family being gone, but it wasn’t worth distracting yourself when there was so much work to be done. it sounded selfish, but hoko was only happy that she was one of the family members that survived. it was survival of the fittest.

hoko knocked her fists against the metal orb sitting in front of her. it was slightly rusted now from water damage but it was still very sturdy. it stood around six to seven feet, equal in diameter, a perfect spherical orb for hoko to fit in.

she called it “the asteroid”, it was her ship to travel to earth. she would blast the asteroid into the sky and out of planet banks’ atmosphere, which would hypothetically shoot her directly to planet earth if she had her angles correct.

hoko brushed her hair out of her face. today was the day.

she looked around at planet banks for one of the last times she would. the sandy dunes spilled over each other across the distance. she had been here for god knows how long. it was home but it was time for a change. a change for the better.

she’d better hurry as the sun was beginning to fade away. with a bit of a struggle, she grabbed onto the giant metallic sphere and rolled it to its side, revealing a small latched opening with a window for her to enter the asteroid. she’d continue rolling it away from the work table, farther out into the golden sand where her roughly put together launching pad stood.

on the back of the asteroid, opposite of where the door was placed, was an opening for a rocket to be inserted. she’d roll the asteroid over to the launching pad, and lock it into place through the rocket launcher. after locking it in place, she turned her head around to look at the sky. the sun beamed into her eyes as it began to rest. she kneeled down, licking her index and middle finger and placing them into the sand before putting her fingers back in her mouth. standing back up, she rolled the sand around in her front teeth as she turned around to grab her bag and open the latch. she climbed into the small opening with a bit of a struggle before pulling herself in and squeezing into the cushioned seat placed in the middle. the asteroid was small, and full of different gizmos and gadgets. above the latch window were a row of lights, and below the window was the main terminal. behind the seat was a box for the rockets to be inserted. opening her bag, she had five bottle sized rockets layered on top of each other, alongside a good handful of cans of meat and water, a blade, and a rolled up jacket with a rusty lighter in the pocket.

the box clicked as she opened the latch, and slid the rocket in place. it fit perfectly, and slid down to the bottom of the barrel. she’d toss her bag to the right side of the chair and turned around to face the opening of the asteroid, saying her goodbyes to her land. her eyes welled up with tears as she closed the door, the outside barely visible through the small stained window on the front latch.

inside the asteroid was dark and claustrophobic, but hoko didn’t pay any mind. on the left of the terminal was a screen with a numbered pad, similar to that of a calculator. it had a tiny red bulb next to the screen where info would come through. underneath the pad were a “launch” and “release” button, both colored yellow with red text.

5. 7. 9. 3. 3. hoko typed into the pad as she pulled the locks from both sides of the seat and over her chest. the locks worked as a sort of seat belt. the screen displayed “ROCKET RELOADING…” in analog text. she felt a mechanical whirr and then a loud click that slightly rattled her chair. “terminal full. ready for launch.”

3. 3. 9. hoko typed into the numbered pad, her hands beginning to shake with anticipation.

“PREP INITAL LAUNCH? 0- yes 1- no” the screen asked, doubting hoko. “HIGH RISK”

0.

“PREPARING…” the screen loaded for what felt like hours. she felt the rocket whirring into its position, locking itself into place so it wouldn’t loosen during the launch. outside of the asteroid, the launching pad should’ve been preparing it’s boosters, making the asteroid fly out farther. hoko really had no idea if it was working at all. it felt like it was, from what she could feel from her seat, but still she couldn’t fully tell. she could feel her heart pounding through her chest.

“...INITIAL LAUNCH FULLY PREPARED. TERMINAL FULL.” the screen read. “WARNING: proceed with caution and full attention. DO NOT OPEN THE LATCH BY ANY MEANS. DO NOT OPEN THE ROCKET LAUNCHER UNTIL ENTERED ‘RELEASE MODE’.”

hoko stared at the launch pad.

launch.

“ARE YOU SURE? 0-yes 1-no” the screen taunted her.

0.

“LAUNCH COMMENCE. SEAT LOCKS FASTENED.” hoko felt the seat locks tightening around her chest. “ROCKET PREFORATED. LAUNCHING IN 5... 4…”

hoko stared up out the window at planet banks as the asteroid shook and rattled.

“3…”

“goodbye, planet banks.”

“2…”

“goodbye, mom and dad.”

“1…”

“goodbye, hoko”

“LAUNCHING.”

the asteroid shot into the air in an instant. the boosters on the launching pad caused her to jolt back and suddenly she tore through the atmosphere, nothing visible through the latch window outside of the blaze from the rocket behind her and the sky beginning to darken as she escaped the planet's barrier. the rockets were so incredibly loud, they howled as they chased her through the sky. she was thousands of feet in the air in just a couple of minutes, her body tossed around in the seat against the force of the launch.

a red light on the numbered pad blinked. “NOW EXITING FORMER ATMOSPHERE. GOODBYE PLANET BANKS :)”

hoko rolled the sand in between her teeth with a grin on her face, all while the asteroid threw her around inside of it as it broke through planet banks' atmosphere. flashes of red, green, and blue shone through the lights hanging inside of the asteroid, nothing could be heard over the monstorous roar of the hand-crafted rockets.

"EXITING ATMOSPHERE> EXITING ATMOSPHERE> EXITING ATMOSPHERE> RELEASE." the screen's red light blinked and then shut off; the roaring came to a low growl before her seat locks clicked and unlocked. the asteroid drifted through the ice cold space between planet banks and earth.

she let out a laugh.

“i’m off of planet banks.” she looked down at her hands, opening and closing her fingers to make sure she was still real. “i’m actually in space.”

it was silent. and lonesome. it wasn’t much different from planet banks, but hoko felt even more isolated in space. no one knew she was there.

earth. how far away was she from earth?

7. 6. 8. 4. 1.

“LOCATING…”

hoko tapped her finger against the arm rest of her chair, waiting for a response.

“EARTH >>> 839.77 B METERS”

“fuck me, dude.” hoko grumbled and sat back in her chair. it felt even more claustrophobic in the asteroid. you couldn’t hear anything but the growl behind you from the rocket.

it was going to be years before hoko would reach earth. she had enough resources, and she was aware it’d take so long, but now that she was sitting down in the asteroid, it started to feel more daunting.

space was empty. that really was the true definition of space. space wasn’t magical or fascinating, it was a void in between two objects. you couldn’t see anything in front of you, besides the reflection of space rocks shining against the sun. it was going to drive her insane. besides it being empty, it was so silent. the growl of the rockets in the background eventually began to drown themselves out, but when you took notice to them they were really the only thing there with you. isolated and afraid.

if this wasn’t going to work out in the end, then this was basically just a death mission. there were so many ways she could die. it started to make her feel dizzy.

there wasn’t much to do besides sleep, eat, and wait; she figured instead of panicking about her decisions now, she’d catch as much sleep as she could until the rockets ran out. hoko began typing into the numbered pad.

3 + 0.

“LOADING REST MODE…”

hoko stared out the window as the settings loaded.

“ALARM READY>>NIGHT LIGHT 300 ACTIVATED>>GOODNIGHT :)” the lights above the terminal began slowly strobing colors of red, blue and green. hoko smiled and used the jacket in her bag as a blanket. it was her fathers jacket, and it still kinda smelled like him.

the sound of the rockets slowly began to fade away as she drifted off to sleep.

~ ~ ~

there was a knock at the door.

“eerr…” hoko rubbed her eyes and began to wake up.

“hoko, it’s me!” the knock continued after the muffled voice, outside of the asteroid. her eyes widened, she could see the sillhouette of a white figure outside of the latch door, its features invisible against it’s ethereal glow.

“who goes there?” hoko called out. there was no way she was opening up the latch door, or she’d be pulled out of her asteroid.

“it’s me, hoko can’t you remember?” the voice answered again. “come on, don’t treat me like an outsider. open up the door!”

“are you CRAZY?! i can’t open up this fucking door, i’ll die.” hoko chuckled, still in disbelief that someone was knocking on her door in space.

“you can trust me, hoko.” the voice reassured her. “trust me, i have everything under control.”

there was a moment of silence where hoko didn’t respond.

“look.” the voice started again. “you have no idea who i am but i know everything about you. i am an angel.”

hoko’s ear flicked as she began to listen in.

“i am here only to tell you that everything is in my hands now. you are safe with me.” the voice explained. “you are going to be safe on earth.”

“...o-okay.” hoko cleared her throat.

“thank you, hoko.” the voice replied. “you will meet me on earth. even if indirectly. you will know who i am once you meet me. all i can hope is you will remember my voice.”

hoko was silent in thought.

“what is your name?” hoko asked.

“i am you.” the voice replied.

“you?”

“i am hoko.” the voice answered again. “you may not understand it now, but we are one in the same.”

“you are me…” hoko pondered.

“angels are pretty strange aren’t they?” the voice laughed. “but you hoko. you are more than i. hoko lives through me.”

“huh??”

“i don’t want to confuse you too much now. one day you will understand. it comes together as a whole as you grow.” the angel put their hand on the window, it was white and scarred on its palms. “i leave you with this;”

hoko watched the angel and listened to it’s speech.

“earth is going to change you, let the change happen.” you could see the angel smile through the dirtied window. “everything falls into place. you will be hurt, you will be anxious, you will be scared. be hurt until you aren’t hurt anymore, be anxious until you aren’t anxious anymore, and be scared until you aren’t scared anymore. you are HOKO. let hoko live on through you.”

hoko was admittedly very confused by all of this. it made her head hurt listening to all of it but, she couldn’t help but think of what the angel was trying to explain.

“i-i’m going to change…” hoko spoke outloud, as if she were telling herself.

“don’t rack your brain too much thinking about it, okay?” the angel reassured her. “i love you, hoko.”

“...thank you.” hoko didn’t really know what to say in response, but she really was thankful for this moment.

“my pleasure. i will see you on earth. goodbye, hoko.” the angel’s silhouette began to float up into space and out of the view of the asteroid.

hoko was alone.

suddenly, she woke up again.

she was met with the terminal and the night lights. it was all some fucked up dream, thankfully.

“REST MODE>>>GOODNIGHT :)>>>ELAPSED: 6 MINUTES”

six minutes of sleep, even better.

hoko already felt as if she were going to go insane in this claustrophobic cockpit. her mind seemed to buzz with nothing to do. was it really worth your sanity just to make it to earth? the angel did say it would be safe on earth.

god, what was hoko thinking. she was dreaming, angels aren’t even real.

am i really going insane already?

nevermind that. hoko opened a can of processed meats, and scooped a piece out with the lid of the can. placing the piece of meat in her mouth, she chewed it and swallowed, paying attention to the feeling of the food sliding down her throat. she was in deep shit, and there was no way to ignore it. she couldn’t distract herself.

this is reality.

this is missouri.

and this was just barely scratching the tip of what was about to come.

she felt a wave of dread fall onto her shoulders, and it hung there for a few minutes. there was no going back now. she could almost feel tears welling up in her eyes but she forced herself to hold them in. her eyes wide and empty but still full of emotion at the same time. full of a strange emotion. an emotion she’d never felt before. an emotion that felt like an extreme form of nihilism.

she let out a deep breath and stared at her palms again, opening and closing her fingers. finally, she let a rush of tears swarm down her face.

this is true bravery. this is madness.

continued in CHAPTER 2 !!!